Kalyani
We are thrilled to bring you features of women whose stories inspire the content of our newsletter between podcast seasons! Kalyani is the third feature since our launch and such a warm and grounded soul.
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For what are you most grateful?
I’m grateful for the sun, the moon, and the stars. For nature and for the creature comforts that I enjoy. I’m grateful for the people around me and all they bring into my life. It’s the balance between all these elements that instills gratitude.
What do you value in relationships above all else?
Relationships are the fascia that binds everything else together. I just returned from three glorious weeks of reconnecting with family and friends in India. While there, I snuck away for a holiday with eight school friends—many of whom I hadn’t seen in almost 25 years. We left behind the daily stressors from our everyday lives in those few days. We laughed till we cried, and it seemed we were once again just carefree teens. That space we created made me value the friendships in my life. They bring happiness, confidence, strength, and reaffirm who I am. I may be a mother, daughter, and responsible member of a community, but time spent in carefree silliness is always uplifting! Like fascia, these moments hold me together and keep me whole.
Who have been the most influential people/events in your life thus far? How have they affected your life decisions to this point?
The greatest influencers in my life are the women in my family. I see an unbroken chain of wisdom and strength that has reached down for generations. My parents have a portrait of my great-grandmother in their house, and when I look up into her stern and unsmiling gaze, I see in her eyes the fierceness and compassion that has carried through in her daughters and granddaughters. When I see my 10-year-old daughter, I see in her, my mother, grandmothers, aunts, and cousins. I make sure my daughter knows where she comes from and that she knows she carries in her the wisdom of the generations of women that came before her.
What of your perceptions, knowledge, experience, and wisdom would you leave as a gift for others? For your children, grandchildren, or best friends? What gifts have others given you that you’d like to pass on?
It was scary moving from Mumbai (a city of 17 million people), India, to the middle of corn fields to attend college in Ohio at 19. I wish at the time that I knew what I know now. I’d tell my younger self that I wasn’t the only one trying to “fit in” and how pointless of an exercise that is because each person is beautifully and uniquely different. The answer to the universe is not 42 (Source: Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe)--it is contentment! And contentment doesn’t come from the right body, clothes, or friends. It is an internal process that evolves through self-reflection. Yoga and meditation are great ways to encourage this sense of contentment. So are coloring, reading, hiking etc. It is the space we create between all the busyness and items on our to-do list.
How do you take care of your body? Do you feel connected to your body? Has it betrayed you in any way? What lessons has it taught you?
My relationship with my body is closely linked to my practice of yoga, which I started when I was ten when my mom dragged my brother and me to a summer yoga camp. Although I don’t currently teach, I’m a certified yoga teacher. Yoga is my bedrock. Practicing yoga brings me an awareness of what my body needs. It empties my mind to create space for self-reflection. I keep an unrolled yoga mat behind my desk for spontaneous sun salutations. I also regularly squeeze into my day a short workout from Gaia, a fitness and yoga app, and take a quick walk or run at least five days a week regardless of the weather.
I’d say that I now feel pretty connected to my body. However, I suffer from numerous auto-immune diseases throughout my life but thankfully none are life-threatening. Neither are they curable.
What is your relationship with your menstrual cycle? Do you have discomfort or do your symptoms interfere with your living your ideal life? If you have gone through menopause, how did you find that transition and have you found it has changed how you look at your body?
My relationship with my menstrual cycle was particularly rocky for an entire decade in my 30’s when I was trying to conceive. I was very fortunate with all of the fertility help I received—from acupuncture treatments to medical interventions. I gave birth to two children—a son at 35 and a daughter at 39. My daughter’s birth is one of the most special moments of my life. She was the last birth at Well Rounded Birth Center Center in Menomonee Falls in 2012!
I’ve always had awful PMS, so now at the age of 49, I’m ready to be done with my menstrual cycle! Unfortunately, I have yet to go through menopause and am not looking forward to it. No one I know has anything good to say about that process – perhaps it’s time to change the narrative on menopause?! Aside from feeling unusually hot in the mornings, I don’t have any other symptoms at this time. I have entered a new weight range since 2020, which has remained regardless of what I do. I feel great and continue to exercise and eat well so I’ve made my peace and just purchased new clothes!
If you could share something with young girls that you wish someone had told you, what would it be?
Give yourself the grace to be yourself. You can be your own North Star even in an age where it’s hard to get away from the idealized versions of people that you may constantly be exposed to via social media. This can take work, but you don’t need to wait till you are almost 50 to figure this out!
Personally, I believe that self-awareness comes from reflection and meditation. Take time to clear your brain and take the time to be in a state of awe at the magnificence of your life, the majesty of nature, the tides of the ocean, the grandeur of trees, and the people you love.
What does your ideal day/night/life look like:
I can’t do much without a cup of tea in the morning. I make my tea as soon as I wake up. I boil loose Indian tea with ginger, cardamom, and pepper (topped with hot milk). The process is itself a ritual. I need at least one day of the weekend to truly indulge in my morning “tea ceremony,” which includes slowly sipping my tea in my favorite brown leather chair while gazing out the windows or reading or writing in my journal. This is a sure-shot way to set a positive tone for the rest of my day!
How would you create your dream space:
My dream space would have a lot of natural light, a plethora of plants, a reading nook, and a space to practice yoga and exercise. I survive Wisconsin’s winter through regular movement, which includes both yoga and short workouts. My indoor plant collection makes up for the fact that my outdoor gardening is limited to half the year.
Do you have a favorite family recipe?
My favorite recipe is my grandmother’s fennel and tomato shrimp curry. It was dictated to me at least a decade ago by my grandmother who would have been 98. I have at least 15 recipes of hers that I noted down one evening over tea. Her hallmark for cooking as a librarian and mother of five in India was “simplicity.”
Aachie’s Shrimp Curry
Serve with hot rice
1 pound cleaned and deveined shrimp
½ teaspoon vinegar or lemon juice
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium onion sliced
¾ teaspoon coarsely ground fennel seeds
¼ inch piece of ginger chopped fine (or use ginger paste)
3 large garlic cloves chopped or smashed
1 medium tomato finely chopped
¼ teaspoon (or less) cayenne pepper or “kashmiri mirchi” (or as much that suits your palate)
14 teaspoon turmeric powder
¼ teaspoon pepper (optional)
Salt to taste
Chopped cilantro for garnish (optional)
1. Add lemon juice/vinegar and a little salt to the shrimp.
2. Heat oil in a pan.
3. Throw onions into the oil once its hot.
4. When onions are translucent add the ground fennel seeds.
5. Add garlic and ginger and fry for 1-2 minutes.
6. Add turmeric, cayenne pepper, and black pepper.
7. Add tomatoes.
8. Add salt, cover, and cook everything for 2 minutes on low till the onions are soft.
9. Add shrimp and bring heat to medium and stir uncovered 3 minutes or until the shrimp is pink and cooked through.
10. Add cilantro as a garnish (optional).
What are your three favorite Instagram accounts?