Marisa
We are thrilled to bring you features of women whose stories inspire the content of our newsletter between podcast seasons! Marisa is the second feature since our launch and truly a remarkable human!
A 70’s baby hailing from West Allis, Wisconsin, Marisa grew up with the smell of yeast wafting through the air from nearby Miller Brewery and the distant summer sounds of race cars circling the Milwaukee Mile. She has lived in many Milwaukee neighborhoods for 41 of her 46 years. A five year stint took her to Cleveland to attend The Cleveland Institute of Art, graduating in 2000 with a BFA in Communication Arts. Her professional career has been centered in the graphic design world but also was paralleled by video production, owning a small business filming weddings for 16 years. Today, she is an art director who spends her time crafting healthcare campaigns.
In 2016 she listened to her gut and took her love of independent film seriously, attending the Film Connection’s filmmaker apprenticeship, working with mentor Richard Brandes to learn the ropes and dive into the world of writing and directing. Her first short film, “You Can Go Now” did well in the film festival circuit during Covid and is streaming on iBex. Her second short, “Da Pandemic of ‘82” she described as a delight to make and is available on YouTube. She currently participates on the Narrative Features selection committee for BendFilm in Bend, Oregon and is in development with her first feature film to be produced, “Birds of a Feather”, the story of a blue collar loner who takes in a young girl facing foster-care, and must peel back the layers of his own childhood trauma to save her from the same fate. www.marisamerkl.com
She has done her fair share of exploring the world and will continue that pursuit while calling the Midwest home supporting another passion of hers – animals. And not just the ones people tend to think of, as in pets and wildlife – all of them, including farmed ones. Marisa resides on the board of directors for Tiny Hooves Sanctuary, a woman-led 33 acre animal sanctuary in Union Grove, WI that is home to over 150 abandoned, abused, neglected, and unwanted farmed animals. Marisa enjoys getting out from behind her laptop to get dirty volunteering at the farm when possible, enjoying the presence of furry and feathered friends.
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For what are you most grateful?
I’m not sure who or what gave it to me, but I always feel indebted when I think about my natural ability to change, and desire for it. It’s such a gift to be open to such a massively giving concept. Change can certainly take from us, but I find it gives infinitely more. I would not have done 75% of what I have in life to this point if I had not freed my mind to make different decisions than what I already safely knew, to change hard-headed opinions, to take risks, try new things and reinvent myself.
I consider change a part of the human experience so it’s difficult to see others fight it tooth and nail in the name of comfortability. It’s not always easy, but what a beautiful thing to grow and expand the mind through what it brings. I’ve always figured that our physical bodies go through constant change, why shouldn’t our minds?
I’m grateful for the countries I’ve visited and the people I’ve met that are not like me, who’ve woven rich layers of experience into my DNA. I’m grateful for my mistakes that triggered change for the better. I’m grateful for those that love me for who I am.
Reinvent. Rediscover. Rework. Relearn. Rethink. Change!
What do you value in relationships above all else?
Good, old-fashioned (quality) communication. Human insight and acumen only gets us so far until we open our mouth and share things. Admittedly, the thing I value most I am not always the best at providing, but as a recovering overthinker I appreciate it to no end when someone else does it consistently and thoughtfully. It’s not always the drawn out spilling of guts (although that’s very important bonding material!) but the check-ins can be magic, too. All forms of it have value in feeling close to someone. The trick is to understand your friend’s, your partner’s, your co-worker’s communication style and meld it to yours, versus staying in your own loop and having expectations that everyone else will match it. It’s a life skill that none of us will ever completely perfect, but gosh darn do I value it and vow to always work on it in return.
Who have been the most influential people/events in your life thus far? How have they affected your life decisions to this point?
Different chapters of life certainly bring different influences that aren’t equal, but equally important in molding who I am. For instance, I was very influenced by the film Amélie, but I was also influenced by a specific undercover video of pigs being slaughtered. Both provided “lightbulb” moments where I knew there was no turning back in terms of making a change in myself. The first resulted in me (many years later) shooting my first film and the second catapulted me into becoming vegan, something that I had felt in my gut and buried in my heart for years and had denied until I allowed it to directly get in my face.
Death has also been a huge influence in my life. I’ve had three family members from 30-50 die, a friend at age 18 and four suicides of people within my circles. It hits different when it’s personal and not a story on a mobile device, which we all unfortunately get too much of. Death pivots from being an inevitable “idea” to a distinct, evidentiary moment, and therefore is something that has permanently molded me. One would think that sounds depressing, but once you spend enough time sitting across the table from death you realize that there’s positive purpose in having a relationship with it. It’s taught and motivated to me not to sit, wait or to overthink too much … as much as possible 😊. Death is not to be feared and I hope the taboo around it continues to dissipate, because its influence and presence is important.
In terms of people? I’m lucky to say that I like to think I’ve been influenced by my mother’s warmth, my father’s curiosity, my grandfather’s courage and my grandmother’s whimsy.
What of your perceptions, knowledge, experience, and wisdom would you leave as a gift for others? For your children, grandchildren, or best friends? What gifts have others given you that you’d like to pass on?
We, as individuals, are naturally our own worst enemies. The more quickly we can understand what that means and how it manifests in our lives the quicker we can identify it, leave it in the dust and start living our most authentic and good selves. The intellect is tricky, even at a young age. It tricks us into living too much in the moments that set us up to become stressed, small-minded, stubborn and to repeat mistakes. It’s impossible to never experience these things but the more we can remind ourselves of bigger pictures and remember to listen to our inner voice … not our outer one, the more our worst enemy walks the other direction.
Never. Stop. Learning. Water your brain. Make it grow. You will never know everything, and never fault another for not knowing it all either. Share learning. This recorded graduation speech by Tim Minchin has always resonated with me and packs a punch of insight and levity, so I share it back out with whomever is in earshot:
“9 life lessons” from Tim Minchin , 12 minutes worth everyone’s time.
How do you take care of your body? Do you feel connected to your body? Has it betrayed you in any way? What lessons has it taught you?
I have my own challenges with thyroid and hormone imbalances along with a very low inability to absorb iron discovered as a teenager. Despite that, my body has always reacted fairly appropriately to how it is treated in return. Lots of hydration, a good amount of sleep, plant-based food, intellectual stimulation, well managed stress and a healthy dose of fun infused into each week all play a role in both feeling connected to it and it behaving as a happy camper. All things that don’t require loads of money, time or status (yes, even the plant-based foods). I would say my body mostly betrays it in times that I betray it first … that extra glass or two of alcohol beyond a limit, junk food, bad anger management, etc. is always a giveaway for me feeling like a bag of potatoes (nothing against potatoes, they’re the BEST).
I feel most connected to my body when I’m quiet, listening and internalized. Like a musician tuned into intricate tones, this is when I hear myself best and intuitively know the answers that I need from my body and what it needs most.
What is your relationship with your menstrual cycle? Do you have discomfort or do your symptoms interfere with your living your ideal life? If you have gone through menopause, how did you find that transition and have you found it has changed how you look at your body?
It’s my nemesis, plain and simple. I used to crawl across the floor in college the pain was so bad and was put on horse-sized pills for the pain until years later I was eventually was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. I believe my OB’s words were, “You are one of the worst cases I have ever seen.” Two surgeries to “clean me out” later, an emergency ectopic pregnancy surgery and many many years of low dose estrogen birth control pills here I am with a reinvented life that is childless after three miscarriages, including twins. That makes it sound like I am unhappy and resentful toward the body I was given, but I have very much embraced my reinvented life and the new paths I have taken. My nemesis has somehow been defeated by my own attitude toward it! These days I’m mostly pain free due to the continuation of the birth control pill (I seem to be one of those lucky individuals who have minimal to little side effects from being on one), a low-stress life and something that I cannot prove but seems to have some correlation (timing-wise) in terms of when most of my pain problems ceased: eating plant-based the last seven years.
If you could share something with young girls that you wish someone had told you, what would it be?
Never ignore yourself. You’re going to inadvertently put yourself aside to appease situations and relationships without even realizing it, and even without anyone asking you to. The bad news is you can lose yourself in the process and sometimes end up in places and spaces that hold you back from who you are trying to become. Everyone is worthy of focusing and following their own path and should not feel they need to take a back seat to fit into any situation or to be with any person. You have just as much to bring to the table as your counterparts and those around you are better off for experiencing the authentic you, just as you are as deserving to know the real them!
What does your ideal day/night/life look like:
I’m a natural morning person, so up and at ‘em it is, preferably. An occasional lay around morning is nice but eventually I feel like I’m dragging if I don’t meet the day. From my perspective I’m blessed to work remotely – this INFJ prospers in it. So I’m already living my ideal work day by starting with a little bit of cozy home routine, a matcha latte and music. If I’m not working? An ideal day still includes that matcha, but it also takes me somewhere new … a new park, museum, film, food experience, town … country? I simply love experiences. And I equally love sharing them with someone else as much as solo treks, so ideally I’m meeting someone at some point to share in the surroundings. Being independent doesn’t mean I want to be lonely! No matter what kind of ideal day I’m having there’s also lots of vegan food, introspection and animals involved.
How would you create your dream space:
Dream space to me on one hand means new and exciting vistas because I love to travel, and those are absolutely the ultimate dream spaces, some that will only ever be dreamed of. But on the personal side of things, I tend to like cozy, clever and clean.
“Cozy” as in my human space is not spatially overwhelmed, with warm materials and a fair amount of color that brings out my inner mental snug – a space that makes my psyche feel at home! I’ve never truly felt dreamy in a space with extra square footage. The only extra space I want can be found outside in Mother Nature surrounding my cozy dwelling.
“Clever” as in I get much delight out of compelling and efficient uses of space through well designed elements. A table that converts to a beautiful wall painting when unused…space-saving stair drawers…a hollow chair you can fill with books at your fingertips. Cleverness enchants me.
“Clean” as in no clutter. I’m ok with an occasional dust bunny but my mind is literally not free to be calm and collected unless my space is.
So at the end of the day, my dream space revolves around a lot of (wonderful) C words.
Do you have a favorite family recipe?
I’m heavily influenced by the joy of my mother’s love for Christmas, so enter stage left her coconut macaroons, only ever made during the season. She always carefully monitored them to have the perfect bit of browning on top, but they always had the best gooey innards. I was always in awe of her ability to grab things out of the oven with bare hands. I thought, “She must have skin of steal!” The recipe was handed down to her on a 4x3 card from previous generations, so it was special to her too, reminding her of her own mother and grandmother. Someone in our family always tends to make sure they are out on a plate for the holiday. I hang onto my love of them due to my love of her. She’s been gone 22 years.
What are your three favorite Instagram accounts?