Grown Up House Parties + the Practice of Vulnerability

"Friendship is a two way street- i want to lift that up and be a mirror and show them that this is what we did together...in a way that honors them... and some parties...I LOVE A GOOD PARTY! I want to do some of those grown up house parties- where you come and you talk and eat!" Genyne

Written by Theresa

Inspired by Genyne + Domnique’s conversation in Episode 1 of Season 2 of the INTERWOVXN Podcast

Over time we are conditioned to “act like a grown up” and “keep your shit together”. Social gatherings become “more adult” and dinner parties are nice occasions that we attend every now and then. Or, if you have children, maybe once a year. Unless you live in France. Then you attend dinner parties every weekend with incredible, yet unfussy, fashion sense and feel like a complete person. But I digress… Adulting, once you hit your groove and once you stop fantasizing about your youth, can feel pretty good. Genyne and Dominique’s conversation highlighted so many wonderful thoughts on growth and the journey moving forward- planting the seed of greatness (especially for women of color), the practice of vulnerability, and grown-up house parties (which we love the idea of as we look at ways to add more fun to life)!

It can be an easy trap to get too invested in acting like a grownup. Moving away from silliness and levity, and taking ourselves too seriously. I recently danced wildly and sang loudly (soberly and the wrong words) at my friends’ wedding. Fifteen Years Ago Me might have been mortified and hung on to the fact that I probably looked a fool but Present Day Me was so happy to celebrate with my friends and let go with my framily that I didn’t care, and the memories make me laugh. I learned and felt deeply the importance of remembering to be vulnerable with the people I love most and not worry about being the consummate professional grownup at all times. 

Speaking of…

Let’s connect that into the type of social gatherings we get to have in middle life, specifically the New House Party. We may have lost track of those feelings of anticipation and shaking off the seriousness of trying to Adult that we had when we threw or went to house parties in our twenties and early thirties. But now we can be our grown up selves, in our homes, having house parties with the people we LIKE and not worrying about the drama of who likes who, or if so-and-so might show up and ruin/improve your whole night. Before we threw parties because we had the time. Now we do it because WE DESERVE IT. Our gatherings are richer, contain more emotional and intellectual content, and can be places for us to shed the outside personas and be present. 

So whether your house party cranks up the music and you’re encouraged to move your body or your gathering has everyone kicking off their shoes and gathering around tables of good food; bring your truth, your silly, your ideas, and your love for your people.

Here are a few articles with tips for throwing an epic party/gathering and simple ways to practice vulnerability (in your self, choices, and relationships) :

The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker
https://www.priyaparker.com/book-art-of-gathering

”The 9 Essential Elements of a Great Party” by Katie Sweeney
https://www.mydomaine.com/how-to-throw-a-great-party

”Healthy Risk-Taking: 10 Simple Ways to Practice Vulnerability” by Sonder Wellness
https://www.sonderwellness.com/blog/2021/06/22/vulnerability/