The Comradery of Aging

"Solidarity is not the same as support. To experience solidarity, we must have a community of interests, shared beliefs, and goals around which to unite, to build sisterhood. Support can be occasional. It can be given and just as easily withdrawn. Solidarity requires sustained, ongoing commitment."
~bell hooks

Written by Theresa

First we cannot wait to grow up. At a certain age we become aware of the privileges that come with aging. It cannot happen fast enough so sometimes we force it through our appearance or behaviors. We don’t want to be young. We want to be old. 

Then finally we get “there”. But with it comes more intense schooling, careers and paths of work discovery, navigating relationships, wondering if we’re doing it right, feeling we are fully evolved one minute and then totally lacking the next. Adulting is a lot. 

Then suddenly we want to stop. Or reverse. We’ve suddenly gone “past our prime”. Whatever the hell that is. And tip of the hat to whoever came up with that load. Instead of seeing it as another step in our evolution, we fight it. We fear it. Once again we are forcing one phase of our lives into another. We don’t want to be old. We want to be young.  

We all follow the same trajectory of aging yet spend much of our time working against it. Middle life gets rough for women because of all of the outside chatter. That outside chatter gets internalized. Our worth is deemed diminished and that is a hard thing to push back on when we see our youth and beauty “fading”. Our bodies are doing things they didn’t do before. And not doing the things they did before. Things are changing. Things are uncomfortable. It’s destabilizing. 

BUT,

We are in it together! It’s not often we’re on the same exact page as other humans, but with this, with aging, being women going through all of the changes in middle life - we are having shared experiences! We are moving through very similar physical, mental, and emotional rides. 

So here we are. Let’s share and normalize and push back against the voices that try to diminish us. Let’s be selective with our self care products and make the marketing gods work for US. Don’t tell us it’s Anti-aging or Younger=Better. Medical complex - prepare for us. We have particular needs as our bodies change. We have particular wants as we care for our mental health.​​ There are many of us. The more we share, the more we learn, the more we know what we need. Let’s unite in this space to prioritize purpose and legacy in this phase–to lift each other up while demanding more for ourselves and generations to come.